it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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