I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
