i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
