Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
