I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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