Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
smell my finger.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
