She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
