I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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