what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
