Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
