We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
