Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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