Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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