No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
