so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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