I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize