I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
