Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
