You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
