I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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