So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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