Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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