Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
