but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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