this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize