About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
