Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
