I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize