there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
