why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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