god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
