I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
