meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
