when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This house was built for laser tag.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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