If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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