I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
