I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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