Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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