vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
