you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
