Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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