guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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