I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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