Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize