if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
