I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
