Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Randomize
