READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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