I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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