Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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