guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As shirtless as possible
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
